A Little Thing Called Love

yyaaaaayyy..... I'm baaaacckk.... *punch* :D

anyway I'm in a really good mood to write ... because I just cried, sounds strange, eh?

Yup... I just cried because this silly stupid funny movie...

maybe you wondering why I cried when I watched a funny movie...

because the story was so touching and was soooo me... it's seems my story at the past... 

I'm not gonna review this movie, you can find it in google-he knows everything- or you can read here

what I'm gonna tell you is about how that crazy little thing that we usually called love can change us, turn us from zero to hero, make us become something from nothing or make an ugly dug become a pretty swan...

how could be?

did we really know what love it is?

have we meet it before?

how could we know it's a love while we never know how it's shape? circle? square? elipse? did we know it?

no... we didnt, and we never ever could meet it... it's absurd, untouching, silly, but as most as we deny it, we know more that we need it...

okay... let me tell you some spoiler about this movie...

it's a klise topic actually,  an ugly girl who fall in love to her senior and keep that feeling without tell him even actually they have a same feeling, and the girl, Nam, was tried too hard to attract his attention, starting to do some weirdo love methods, dress up her self into a pretty girl and time by time she, from an ugly duck became a very pretty swan, and everyman adore him, but there is only one man who keep staying in her heart, yeah... her senior who never be brave to tell Nam that he has a same fell because his bestfriend like Nam too, and as their promise-a promise between boys-they couldnt be in love with a same girl... anyway, that's not my point, what I wanna tell here is about how long we've to wait until we meet our Mr/Ms. Right? one week? one month? one year? ten years?

in that movie, in graduate, Nam told Chon, that boy who she in love with, that she love him, she has turn to be a swan just for him, bun how unlucky she is, Chon already make a relationship with Pin,his classmate, one week ago... yeah... she was late..

maybe we have heard that If we love someone, tell him/her as soon as possible, before too late or somebody do it before you...

but sometimes we dont have a strong heart to say it, we just scare about the rejection, we just scare about our heart to be hurt, yeah.. we just scare that our love will never been replied... we just too scared...

and after 9 years, when Nam back to Thailand, she was studied fashion in America, and became so famous now, in a talk show, finally the time meet them, their destiny has been put in same time in a same  place, yeah... after 9 years, which is mean Nam have been in love to Chon for almost 12 years... can you imagine that? your brain, your heart, is only for one person, that you always waiting for, 12 years is not a short time... it's a very long time to keep that feeling to be faithful... and as a mostly romantic movie did, it's a happy ending story, when the prince got his princess...

Nam was an ugly duck

then transformed into a pretty girl

finally, she is a SWAN

but c'mon... we didnt live in a fairy tale world, we live in a realistic one, we dont have waste our time for waiting someone who couldnt be guarantee that she/he will be our long last love forever...

yeah... we did live in a kind of world like that... but is it wrong when we dream to be a princess in this life? not,,, it wasnt wrong... the only thing that wrong is when we just became so addicted to that person and we might never know that maybe there is someone else who waiting for us, that maybe we just not into him/her, that maybe she/he just not into us, that maybe we got a wrong feeling, that maybe, maybe,maybe and many more... so why we should lose another chance to get a better love and sacrificing our feeling for something that we didnt sure yet?

hahahaha,,,, how clever I talk... it sounds like I never do that stupid silly things before...

I did it... yeah... I have been waiting for almost 7 years just for the boy that I just talked with him once, can you believe that?

oh not once, but twice if when she ordered me to swept the floor in my class in count...

that was the first time he talked to me, as my seniors, he asked me to swept those floor but I reject it, not because I dont wanna do it, but I suddenly act so silly and lose control and I even didnt think what I said... *sigh*

and the second one in front of library, he called me and ask me "are you pratiwi hamdhana?, and for your information, I didnt use my shoes at that time, I even didnt use a slipper because I just back from pray-even I didnt really like use shoes in any condition-then, I answered "yes", he said next "okay, you might go" 

THAT'S IT!!!!

after that,no more conversation, no more chat, no more... but I more adore him, I adore how smart he is, I adore how charismatic he is... until he graduate and continue his study in one of favorite HSH in my town and silly me, the only reason why I want to continue my SHS in the same school with him not because it's a fav school, but there is HIM...   so silly, eh? yeaah... 

but God know me better, I didnt pass it...

time by time, I keep in search information about him, and he graduate his SHS faster because he smart, he just need 2 years to pas his SHS, and then he continue to collage not in Indonesia, but in Malaysia...

I just knew it when in 3rd grade in SHS, and finally I decided, I'll looking for him, try to find some information, but I make a deal with my self, when that time I couldnt find him, I'll erase him and continue my life without anythings about him, but once again, God know me better... it's a very easy to know where he is, where he study, I even got his YM and his mobile number... then we were friend in YM and facebook then... he has a girlfriend at that time -and now he has a fiancée- 

in a short story after collect my bravery I decided to told him that I've been adore him for almost 7 years... I couldnt say that I'm in love with him because I never know what love it is, so let just we say it a crush... 

I told him by email, I still remembered that time, I sent that email from internet cafe, 10-15 minutes from my home, at 10 PM, after sent it, I walked go home, really walked, and regret what I just did, how I could be so silly stupid girl...but It happened and at the morning I got his reply...

he told me that why I just told him? why I didnt told him when we still in Junior High School... it was too late now, because he has a girlfriend-I knew that, I even be his GF's friend in facebook-then after that I never reply that email again...

I thought I'll forget him, but it wasnt as easy as I know.. but dont worry time is a very good medicine for those who has heart break ill-or let we say something like that-

Now, I'm fine, even sometimes still think about him who already have a fiancée there...

yeah, I'm okay... 

I just wanna thanks to him who already gave another color in my life...

thank you for your unawareness fill in my mind at that time,

thank you for your passiveness to me who always seeking on you,

thank you for keep in faithful to fill page by page in my life's book,

thank you to allow me adore you even I did it in silence,

thank you because of you I braved to speak up,

thanks for you, my past man...

anyway, we are friend now, not too close, just a friend in YM and facebook, and did some chat about something...

and as you know, even maybe he know me earlier and lucky me he has a same feeling-in case-I still couldnt make any relationship to him bacause I've promised to my self, to my God, to my faith, that I wont make any closer relation to any man until someone propose me to marry him... *it sounds so weird in this era now, but that's my faith and I'll always to keep it in right way...

so, for you who have been waiting for someone or who have been so scared to tell someone how much you love him/her, I recommend you to watch this movie...

*big hugs*

Tiwi